Before going further, let me be clear about what this essay is not about. It is not about keeping women out of any profession, position, or pursuit. Women have proven time and again that they can thrive as police officers, firefighters, fighter pilots, or in any other challenging role. They are free to chart their course wherever they choose. This is not a complaint about women breaking barriers. Rather, this is a reflection on a deeper issue concerning boys and the spaces where they learn how to become men.
Take, for instance, the recent decision by the Boy Scouts of America to drop the word “Boy” from its name. To me, this is more than just a rebranding; it represents the erosion of yet another space where boys traditionally learned what it meant to grow into responsible men. The Boy Scouts has long been a place where boys were challenged, mentored, and prepared for manhood in a setting designed specifically for them. Now, that space has been altered.
Yes, I have mixed feelings about this shift. I applaud any adult—male or female—who volunteers to mentor and shape the next generation. Their commitment is commendable. But at the same time, I question why girls need to enter every single arena where boys are meant to develop independently. What happened to the notion of girls sticking with Girl Scouts and boys sticking with Boy Scouts? It’s not about exclusion—it’s about allowing boys the room to wrestle with the unique challenges of becoming men, without constant comparison or dilution of male-centered experiences.
The bigger issue goes beyond scouting. We are living in a time when millions of boys are growing up in single-mother households. These mothers are, in my view, among the unsung heroes of America. They work long hours, carry the burdens of both parents, and pour themselves into raising their children as best as they can. Many of these women are successful in involving the fathers or other positive male influences in their sons’ lives, and that is critical. Boys need male role models—good men who can show them how to navigate life with integrity, courage, and resilience.
But when dads are absent, or when male mentors are in short supply, where can boys turn? Historically, organizations like the Boy Scouts offered that outlet. It was a place where boys could learn from older men who modeled leadership, self-discipline, and service. They were taught to tie knots, build fires, take responsibility, lead others, and push through adversity—lessons that were about far more than survival skills. They were lessons in manhood.
Now, those spaces are fewer and farther between. As boys grow up, they face a world where traditional masculinity is often labeled as toxic or outdated. The message too often seems to be that boys must either soften themselves to fit a new mold or risk being seen as relics of a bygone era. But masculinity itself is not the problem. A boy learning to be a strong, dependable, and virtuous man benefits not just himself but society as a whole. Masculinity at its best means protection, provision, and principled action.
The issue isn’t about competing with women or shutting them out. It’s about recognizing that boys and girls sometimes benefit from learning and growing in distinct spaces. Just as girls thrive
in environments where they can be themselves without feeling the pressure to conform to male expectations, boys also need spaces where they can work through the journey of boyhood to manhood—where they can stumble, learn, and be called up by other men.
What concerns me most is not that girls are achieving more—good for them, they should—but that boys are losing the very institutions and communities that helped mold them into the kind of men we all hope they become. We need those spaces more than ever, especially in a society where fatherlessness and disengagement are on the rise.
This isn’t about going backward. It’s about understanding that healthy masculinity is essential to a balanced and flourishing society. Boys need fathers, mentors, and communities where they can be challenged to grow in the right direction.
So, no, this essay isn’t about limiting women. It’s about asking, where do we expect boys to become men, if the places where that used to happen keep disappearing?